Friday, January 9, 2009
So Long Dear Friend

01 January 2009
I will never forget that day for the rest of my life.

Feudie, Enphesis, Sakazaki, Drumma Queen and I were out celebrating New Year's Day at La ViVa bar at CHIJMES over drinks & card games. Midnight had passed & we were popping confetti, blowing noisemakers and just soaking in the atmosphere. Little did I know about the chain of events that were to unfold from that night on.


02 January 2009
I was making my way home after work & looking forward to the weekend that had just begun. Feudie called while I was on the train to tell me that Zalhera had gone missing during the Bangkok fire accident that broke out 2 nights ago. I had heard about it in the news but it never occured to me that Zal could have been at that exact same location although I was aware that he was in Thailand. I hung up the phone worried but I was pretty sure Zal could take care of himself and that he'd be fine. Friends reassured me that he was probably in shock somewhere and he'd show up soon. I took comfort in their words but nevertheless, Zal's dissappearance lingered in my mind.


03 January 2009
I woke up to a phone call from Drumma Queen, reminding me that I was supposed to meet her in the afternoon for an appointment together. Before I left home, I grabbed the newspapers in the living room and made my way to the station. I arrived earlier than her so I took the time to flip through the pages to try to find some updates on the Bangkok incident.

And there it was, Zal's picture & the article that followed shook me. "Missing" it read. As I scrutinized the article, the word 'grim' bit into my heart. I cried.

I had refused to believe he was unaccounted for until that moment in time.


04 January 2009
I stared in disbelief at the SMS Storm had sent me. I felt a rancid feeling surge up my throat and my vision blurred from the tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't peel my eyes away from the message & my mind went blank, unable to process the information.

Elliot didn't make it. The last unidentified body is him... dna confirmed...

I dialed Storm's number on the phone, hoping against hope that there must have been a huge mistake somewhere. I only remembered screaming into the phone & hearing Storm's voice breaking as he relayed the news once again.

I couldn't believe it.

I just didn't want to believe it.


05 January 2009
I woke up feeling dazed but somehow managed to grudgingly lug myself to the office . Upon entering the office, I picked up the morning papers when passing by the magazine rack and sat down in my seat.

Even then, I was still in denial. I was hoping for a miracle... hoping & hoping that it was all but a long bad dream.

I sobbed as I read the first paragraph. I didn't finish reading the article.


07 January 2009
It is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

Seeing Zal's portrait & his clothes draped over the chair. The familiar long sleeved Billabong shirt which he had liked to wear, his faded jeans & his running shoes. The brown coffin lay a distance behind, a bouquet of chrysanthemums sat on it.

I looked over at Feudie and wondered how he must be feeling. It's a Chinese belief that the older generation are not allowed to see off the deceased if the deceased is younger, therefore Feudie and some others could only stand behind and watch while those who were younger or of the same age as Zal offered incense & prayers.

One by one they made their way to the altar and planted their joss sticks into the ash laden urn, I was the last. My body had refused to move.

Never in my life would I have thought that I'd be attending Zal's wake. It just seems so surreal.


The Past
10 year ago, the bunch of us used to play Counterstrike at a lanshop called Cyberian City at Hotel Rendezvous. Their clan was [Ronin]. I was from [CsN] but everyone knew one another as we play frequently together. [Ronin] was a tight bunch of friends. I'd often see them together and everytime the lanshop closed shop at 3am, we'd all gather outside and mingle around until we were either too tired and headed home or continued the Counterstrike marathon when CC opened its doors again for business at 7am. This practice ceased when CC shut down a few years later due to slow business & fierce competition from other lan shops that mushroomed around the area. Even then, I'd run into [Ronin] at nearby lanshops once in a while.

Few years back, Feudie & I were picking up the new KOFXI game at Suntec arcade & we ran into Zalhera by chance. It so happened that he was learning the game too & we met often to play against one another. Zal enjoyed the game so much that he imported a 2nd hand arcade machine from Taiwan and had it shipped to his home. We' d often bunk over at his place on weekends after the arcade closed & continued our grudge matches until wee hours in the morning, often abusing his PS3, desktop & bed in the process.

In the mornings, his mum would buy breakfast for us and after which, we'd be recharged & energized once again to continue more unsettled matches from the night before. Feudie & Zal often disagreed over the "logics" of KOF & they'd get into heated arguements all the time. It was annoying listening to them squabble and sometimes they'd be so engrossed that they'd walk on ahead, forgetting about me & leaving me trailing behind.

When Tatakai visited us in Singapore, we rented a chalet at Pasir Ris & Zal borrowed his parents' car to ferry us about. He even brought his PS3 to the chalet so we could continue slugging it out over KOFXI. In the mornings, I had to wake everyone up as we were lagging behind on our schedule & had to resort to whacking them awake with pillows. Zal & Symphonia had it the worst from me as they refused to budge. They'd eventually wake up giggling hysterically & lock me out of the room & continue to sleep & I'd attempt to bang the door down.

We tried to play the World of Warcraft boardgame and ended up breaking all the rules. Tat, Feudie & I kept jumping & stealing Zal & Symph's quests. We played it until 4am in the morning and finally called it quits when everyone was too tired to continue. I have never laughed so hard over a boardgame before.




Zal started playing WoW on our server to join me & Feudie although the rest of the Ronin guys were on another server. He picked up the game quickly & soon he was my arena partner together with Locksmith in 3v3s. There was a match I remembered very vividly as we were laughing uncontrollably throughout on Skype.

We had managed to take down one guy from the opponent team but unfortunately Locksmith went down as well. Zal & I fought on for another 15mins but it was still a stalemate. The opposing team grew tired of chasing me & they switched their attention to Zal, who distracted them long enough to buy me time to res Locksmith. When Lock came back into the match, he ended it within seconds. We jokingly told Zal that he sucked and he replied laughing, "Yea I suck." We made a good 3s team.

We'd stay up late into the night playing BGs & practised covering each other. Zal was a good team player as he often watched out for team mates. Sometimes, we'd get fraustrated over arena losses but I rarely saw him lose his temper. Even if he did, I couldn't tell. He was always chirpy & good tempered, smiling most of the time.

Sometimes, we'd chat in WoW when we were waiting for BG Qs or had nothing else to do. He'd complain to me about Feudie when they have their "couple" disagreements and I'd always tell him to stop acting gay.

One time late into the night, we were having one of these chats and he told me that if I weren't attached, he would go after me. But I know that's cos we shared similar interests and he would have liked for his girlfriend to be sharing the same sentiments for the the things he loved doing.

We shared a common love for Japan and he had wanted me & Feudie to join him & his family on a trip to Hokkaido. We didn't manage to make the trip with him but he came back with some Hokkaido biscuits which I ate the most. I liked one particular snow biscuit alot & he gave me a whole pack to get rid of me from bugging him. In addition to the tidbits, I got a Hard Gay Kiki Ippatsu. He said it was the last one left in the store and he bought it for me as a souvenir. I still have it sitting on my office desk.

Feudie was looking forward to his return to Singapore this coming CNY so that he could impart his SFIV knowledge & we could all play together once again. But I guess it was not meant to be.

We had spent a bulk of time hanging out together but I never realised that he meant so much to me as a friend. I just never realised at all...

In 5 hours' time, I will say my final farewell. I cannot sleep.

Last night his family had a procession whereby they burnt incense & some other stuff for him. I watched everything go up in flames that reached the trees & I could feel the heat burning against my skin although the fire was a good distance away. I wanted to cry but there were no more tears left. I think it is because I am learning to let go. I heard that he had lost his life trying to help someone who was trapped.


Elliot... you stupid ass. I'm so glad we had the chance to get to know each other better since that fateful day at the arcade in Suntec. I'm so goddamn proud to have been your friend. Even till the end, you stayed true to yourself. バカ。。。

Feudie & I will look forward to the day when it's our time to go, so that we may see you once more again. Until we meet again, you will be missed.

So Long... Dear Friend...

Labels: January 2009